Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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