I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i think i just lost a toe
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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