booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
