What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
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