I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
