Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
