Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
