I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
