Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
