i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
