My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
