Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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