I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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