i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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