I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
