when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
