My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
pray to the hookup gods
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
