Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
