that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you had me at cake vodka
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
