I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
