its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
