he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
