ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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