I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she told me i tasted like america
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
