I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
