i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
