also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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