I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
