cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
