Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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