also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
