How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
