OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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