I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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