Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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