I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
