i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
