new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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