I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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