I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They took my balls.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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