Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
