guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
