If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
