Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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