I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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