you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
