dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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