Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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