He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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