My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
