They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
